Tools for bouncing back after bullying

Understand that bullying doesn’t define you (what you make it mean)

We need to view the bullying as specific events that happened.  Events that have happened do not define who you are now.

What were the facts versus what was the fiction

FACTS: 

I was punched. 

I was teased. 

Nobody helped me. 

FICTION:

I am weak and useless.

Everybody at school hates me.

Nobody cares about me

Challenging times will be temporary… Life will get better

It’s important to remember that these challenging times you are dealing with are temporary. They won’t always be this difficult and these bullying experiences you have had will not carry on forever.  Life will improve.

Know that you will have the last laugh

At the time you are 30, you will have great friends, plenty of money, and a healthy life.  By the age of 30, most bullies have become almost friendless, have broken relationships, and are financially unsuccessful.  Most children who are bullies will grow up into adults who don’t know how to interact well with others. So keep in mind that whoever was bullying you has a tough road ahead of them, but you have a bright future.  You don’t need to get revenge on the bully because the bully will do things in life that hurt themselves.

Bullying: Growing from From Victim > Survivor Veteran

This is what sets us free from fear… It’s the process of changing how we feel from being scared, to feeling okay, to eventually being strong enough to help others. This video will encourage you to see yourself as someone who is strong, rather than someone who is weak or stuck.

Victim (Stuck as a victim of bullying)
  • Sees the bully (and school) as terrifying.
  • Goes into a state of HELPLESSNESS when faced with: teasing, insults, threats
Survivor (Has experienced bullying and got through it)
  • Gets a good team around him – with at least one older wiser man.
  • Goes into a state of ASSESSMENT when faced with: teasing, insults, threats
  • Understands that bullies are broken people who are not receiving help.
  • Has learnt to let low-level/medium-level teasing bounce off them.
Veteran (Has put the bullying behind him and now helps others)
  • Actively makes a difference in others’ lives
  • Chooses what his own values are and how he will act. He will often change unimportant things such as his fashions or other trivial things, but he doesn’t change his values or beliefs just to fit in.
  • Goes into a state of RELAXED ASSESSMENT when faced with: teasing, insults, threats
  • views the events of bullying that have happened as: painful, but the pain that caused healthy character growth, and an experience that he is actually better off now because of.
 
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