How to prevent bullying occurring to you in the future

Real social skills: making (and keeping) real friends

  • The only way to have friends is to be a friend.
  • Be a listener… Show genuine interest in others.
  • Have integrity – be honest, loyal and reliable
  • Deliberately build friendships with a few people… Don’t get dependent on one friendship because if you lose that one, you are stuck.
  • Don’t go needing the approval of others. The approval of others comes from having integrity and making good decisions.
  • There’s a difference between being popular with ‘the large group’ and having some solid friendships: Decide whether you want to aim at popularity with the group or at having solid friendships.

Learn to use confident body language

  • Strong handshake
  • looking people in the eye
  • feeling confident

Recognise the difference between “friendly teasing” and “nasty teasing”

  • It depends on who is doing the teasing and it depends on their motive…
  • Who – is it someone who is for you/indifferent to you/against you.
  • Motive – to have fun with you/ to impress you or others / to tear you down and make themselves look good.
  • Do they stop when you ask them to
  • We need to learn to laugh at ourselves… e.g. if you fall over and you look silly and you are not actually injured… Well, it is actually funny and laughing at yourself in that situation is pretty healthy.

Facing fears: What is reality and what is imaginary?

What are you actually afraid of? People do crazy things (like commit suicide) because they let the imaginary become real.

  • The bully is terrifying and school is terrifying: that is imaginary. The reality is that Tom Jones says nasty things and does nasty things, and I need to take some steps so I can be safe.
  • Is it true that life will never get better? What about when you are 22 and you don’t even know these people?
  • Is it true that you will never feel safe? What about when you are 22 and you live in another city in life is completely different?
  • What are you actually afraid of? What is your plan for if that happens?
Dealing with cyber-bullying on social media

Decide why you use social media and how you will use it, and then stick to a plan. Use it as a tool, but don’t be a slave. Evaluate what you’re actually getting out of it that is worthwhile, and if you get more out of real life, than spend most of your time on real life.

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