How to Deal with your child’s school

Steps for persuading your school to protect your son from future bullying

Some schools deal really well with bullying… They create a culture where bystanders are expected to speak out when someone is being bullied.  They have consistent, well-defined systems in place to deal with bullying and they use these systems well.  When bullying occurs, consequences are put on the bullies, because words do not work.

Many schools deal poorly with bullying… And this is particularly common in high schools.  These schools do not have consistent, well-defined plans in place to deal with bullying.  When bullying happens, they use words instead of consequences (which is completely ineffective with boys).  Basically, in these schools, the teachers are not given the tools they need to be the leaders in the school, so the bullies are effectively in charge and everyone knows it.

Basically, as a parent, you need to be a sane but insistent advocate for your child.  Be deliberate and systematic and document things well. Be prepared to go to the principal. Also be very prepared to go over his head to whoever he works for.  Be willing to take the issue as far as you have to, and to become as unpopular as necessary in order to get a plan in place, with specific actions and specific timelines. 

Should my child change schools to escape bullying? (Well, it depends)

If he has become the whipping boy and has an irreversible reputation as a victim, changing schools frees him from that and lets him start again.

BUT changing schools without changing his strategies means that it will probably re-occur again in the new setting and then he is back to where he started.